We Are What He Is

When Bro. J Yogawin gave the second talk of Feast Alabang’s Follow Francis, Follow Jesus series, he said that spiritual maturity is not equivalent to religious maturity. To put it bluntly, religious people are not necessarily good people.

The statement brought me back to a scene that took place some years ago.

I was in the office and it was the first hour of work. My boss had just arrived and as soon as she was settled in her room, she asked her personal assistant to play the CD that she had brought with her.

A few moments later, I was listening to a recording of the Holy Rosary. It was beautiful. The leader’s voice was gentle, and the prayer was set against soft and soothing music. I assumed that my boss was listening to it in the car (and probably praying along), on her way to work.

However, instead of being inspired to pray, I felt very awkward and uneasy. Soon, I began to feel annoyed.

The reason was that it was common knowledge in the office that my boss was in an adulterous relationship. The man she had been claiming as her own had a wife and children. Not only that, their relationship had been going on for more than four decades.

As the audio rosary went on, I felt so disgusted at such outright mockery of prayer that I wanted to just leave and take the rest of the day off.

In my head, the 80s satirical song by Yano was playing:

Banal na aso,

Santong kabayo,

Natatawa ako…

Today, they are no longer together. The man fell sick. It was a turning point for him and he decided to return to his family.

You Are Love

Bro J’s main message to everyone was, “You are love.” He explained that because God is love, and we are His sons and daughters, then we are what He is―love.

At the end of his talk, he gave this assignment: find the least of your brethren and love them the way Jesus loves them. He then instructed everyone to go around in the room and hug as many people as they could, but only for 10 seconds. After the exercise, he asked us, “How many people were you able to hug in that short amount of time―30? 20? 10? 5?”

We are all given just a lifetime to love.

I believe the man’s family understood these things fully. During his most difficult, most vulnerable moments, when his sickness had progressed severely, and he was carrying so much guilt for all the years of heartache he caused, they saw him as the least of their brethren.

His wife and his children did not judge him. For them, the past did not matter anymore because it was enough that he finally came home. Instead, they loved him as best as they could by caring for him, until the Lord finally called him home.

The Better Brother

I was very angry! And every bad thing, every unfortunate incident that came my way, I automatically blamed on him.

The object of my anger was none other than God.

Four years ago, my family and I became servants of Feast Alabang. I was happy because I could use my skills to serve the Lord. That’s why I dove into ministry service with great passion. Unfortunately, I learned that committing to do good works for God does not guarantee a worry-free life.

We had been serving for about two years when I lost my job.

Being the sole breadwinner of my family, that was such a terrible blow, especially to my faith.

But that was only half of it. Aside from my day job, I was also working on some deals as a freelance marketer where I suffered another blow. Clients were suddenly becoming scarce.

I thought it was so unfair because I believed that, at the very least, the basic necessities of someone working for God’s glory would be taken care of. But that wasn’t my reality then.

In Embrace, the first part of the new Feast series, Open Wide – Follow Francis, Follow Jesus, Bro James Nicolas preached about what is probably the bible’s most well-known parable, “The Prodigal Son.” One thing Bro James pointed out is the reaction of the older brother when his father forgave his brother.

He became angry, and when he refused to enter the house, his father came out and pleaded with him. He said to his father in reply, ‘Look, all these years I served you and not once did I disobey your orders; yet you never gave me even a young goat to feast on with my friends. But when your son returns who swallowed up your property with prostitutes, for him you slaughter the fattened calf.’

- Luke 15: 28-30

Even though I became unemployed and our income was almost zero, I continued to serve in the same ministry. I stayed because I became good friends with my co-servants, considering them family. In my heart however, I was really angry at God.

When I talked to him, I would often say things like, “Lord, I tripped and fell today. It’s your fault,” or “God, I just ruined my favorite shirt. I blame you for that,” or “Lord, you did it again. That last job interview was a total disaster!”

I also told God, “Look! I try very hard to be a good Christian and this is what I get???”

God and I are okay now. But my anger didn’t go away just like that. It felt as if my Heavenly Father, who knew how hurt and frustrated I was, ever so gently coaxed me, and drew me back to Himself.

When I step back and look at that episode in my faith journey, I realize now that the job I lost, as well as my failed sideline business, had been causing me a lot of unnecessary stress.

Blessings sometimes do come in disguise.

Fast forward to the present… I have a much better job today. And my small sideline business will soon be replaced by something really big … but that sharing will be for some other time.