The Better Brother

I was very angry! And every bad thing, every unfortunate incident that came my way, I automatically blamed on him.

The object of my anger was none other than God.

Four years ago, my family and I became servants of Feast Alabang. I was happy because I could use my skills to serve the Lord. That’s why I dove into ministry service with great passion. Unfortunately, I learned that committing to do good works for God does not guarantee a worry-free life.

We had been serving for about two years when I lost my job.

Being the sole breadwinner of my family, that was such a terrible blow, especially to my faith.

But that was only half of it. Aside from my day job, I was also working on some deals as a freelance marketer where I suffered another blow. Clients were suddenly becoming scarce.

I thought it was so unfair because I believed that, at the very least, the basic necessities of someone working for God’s glory would be taken care of. But that wasn’t my reality then.

In Embrace, the first part of the new Feast series, Open Wide – Follow Francis, Follow Jesus, Bro James Nicolas preached about what is probably the bible’s most well-known parable, “The Prodigal Son.” One thing Bro James pointed out is the reaction of the older brother when his father forgave his brother.

He became angry, and when he refused to enter the house, his father came out and pleaded with him. He said to his father in reply, ‘Look, all these years I served you and not once did I disobey your orders; yet you never gave me even a young goat to feast on with my friends. But when your son returns who swallowed up your property with prostitutes, for him you slaughter the fattened calf.’

- Luke 15: 28-30

Even though I became unemployed and our income was almost zero, I continued to serve in the same ministry. I stayed because I became good friends with my co-servants, considering them family. In my heart however, I was really angry at God.

When I talked to him, I would often say things like, “Lord, I tripped and fell today. It’s your fault,” or “God, I just ruined my favorite shirt. I blame you for that,” or “Lord, you did it again. That last job interview was a total disaster!”

I also told God, “Look! I try very hard to be a good Christian and this is what I get???”

God and I are okay now. But my anger didn’t go away just like that. It felt as if my Heavenly Father, who knew how hurt and frustrated I was, ever so gently coaxed me, and drew me back to Himself.

When I step back and look at that episode in my faith journey, I realize now that the job I lost, as well as my failed sideline business, had been causing me a lot of unnecessary stress.

Blessings sometimes do come in disguise.

Fast forward to the present… I have a much better job today. And my small sideline business will soon be replaced by something really big … but that sharing will be for some other time.